I get so frustrated by my sin and by my failures. I fall terribly short of God's perfection and calling on my life. Sometimes, I want to give up. Even when I am walking in relative purity, I realize how far I am from where I should be. For example, the thought of carrying my cross, proclaiming him publicly on a street corner or in the marketplace is terrifying. Ok, so I sometimes share my faith when asked, but I avoid telling people I am praying for their healing in fear that he might not answer and we BOTH look like fools. Where is my faith motivated by love?!
Thankfully, God is not intimidated by my frustration, nor does he abandon me to misery. He is so faithful, even when we are faithless. Though God has the right to crush us for our rebellion, "a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench" (Isaiah 42:3). I think he lets us fall into these "black holes" and wander into the desert to help us discover our real need for him, as it is written in Hosea 2: "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her . . . I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." (Hosea 2:14, 19-20).
So as I sulk in my inadequacy, I hear his gentle voice: "Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18); "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7); and "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Father, perfect your love in me, fill me with your Spirit and give me faith like a mustard seed. Take my hand and lead me in your ways.
"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning [repentance] and rest you shall be saved;in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.'" (Isaiah 30:15)
(All Scripture quotes from ESV)
- 14 SEPTEMBER -