The young boy had tears streaming down his face as he told me that he was afraid his elder brother was going to be expelled from school. I cried as well, and then I went to talk to his brother.
This was no simple matter. One year earlier, these boys had lost their mother. She had died unexpectedly. They were only in junior high school, and the elder boy was behaving badly. He was stealing, lying, and failing all of his subjects. Thus, it was not inconceivable that he would be suspended from this excellent school. If that happened, he would either have to go to work or be sent to a relative in a different country.
I approached this young man and asked if I could speak with him. Though I am a "professional" and this reaction is in no handbook, as I spoke to him, I began to cry. I told him that I understood his loss (his mother had been my friend), and I quite literally begged him not to add hurt on top of hurt. I told him, quite frankly, that his brother had approached me, frightened by his elder brother's behavior. I then told him that I would be willing to help him, and that together we would try to find a solution to his academic failure, his depression, and his loss.
To God be the glory, he accepted my offer and this young man is now doing better in school. The danger of flunking out is in the past. In addition, he has begun to work through his grief and has begun to think of his mother with joy as well as sadness. He feels better about himself and his life.
According to all the "rules" of counselling, crying with a student is not in any handbook. Nevertheless, it was a real expression of my own heart, and because it was genuine, this sad young man responded.
I am looking forward to the day when we will "rejoice" together, as well.
- 6 MARCH -